 If it were any other two people it would have been a date, no question. 2007-06-08 - 5:17 p.m. yeah it's been a while..but i needed some private space to write this, because i can't deal with it and everywhere else i would now choose, is just not private enough from the subject. so i went out with a friend last night, a really close friend (he is just becoming a close friend, but close none the less). i swear if it were any other two people, you'd call it a date, or what ended up happening a date. when i got ready to go out, i didn't shower or change into particularly good date clothes, i threw on a ball cap with my jeans and a t-shirt. i wasn't going on a date...just out for a walk with john. john, whom when questioned, swore he didn't have "those" kind of feelings (well he didn't have to swear, i just took his word for it). the same john, who held me all night while i was hammered, and just about passed out in his bed, who tickled me then and tickled me last night. the same guy that started kissing me last night. and only two questions stand out in my mind: a) Was this an attempt to get me to sleep with him? b) Does he indeed have feelings for me? I trust him not use me like that, so I'm really hoping A is no. As for B, well I don't know that I care either way, I think we could be great together (although I am not running around and changing my status to bi, just yet) but it's a hell of risk to take, a friendship that is so unlike most other things I have. So what am I supposed to think, if he should kiss me again (and he didn't start every one, maybe not even more than the first one)?? I guess I'm trying not to dwell, because I figure he isn't. We are just us. And that is ok. |